CVille’s Hottest Clubs

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We sat down with NYC’s premier authority on nightclubs and asked him to scope out some CVille clubs.

1. The Downtown Maul

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: rabid dogs, chocolate covered bricks and a carousel made entirely of raw meat.

2. Streusel soX

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: lederhosery, Christmas stockings with pictures of Steve Buscemi and PopTarts but everyone is mad about it.

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3. Montijello

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: Thomas Jefferson jello wrestlers, The Declaration of Independence written in Cheezewiz and a Napoleon impersonator who’s clearly in the wrong place.

4. GroggySIIps

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: human Spudnuts, prepubescent wine and a middle-aged man with sleep apnea.

5. RotunDUH

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: a banjo playing nun, smug philosophy majors and a teenager that knows everything.

6. Gooberschnapps

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: sriracha rum, a giggling tax accountant and tapas that are really just Ritz and motor oil.

7. .GIF

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: slam poetry performed entirely in tumblr posts, angry redditors and that one friend who pronounces it “JIFF.”

8. DMB

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Photo: DMB FB
Everything this club has: DMB stands for Don’t Mention The Bartender. It’s a club where the bartender kind of looks like Dave Matthews but not enough that you would say anything.

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9. Farm To Cable

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Photo: pixabay
Everything this club has: It’s just a dark room where you watch farm animals watch the Gilmore Girls theme song on a loop.

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If you liked this post, you might also enjoy 9 Restaurants Your Mom Should Try In CVille and Top 9 Cocktail Hot Spots In CVille.
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Maggie Comeau, Content Manager

Maggie Comeau is the content manager of Scoutology. Her favorite things to write about are sweets, brunch and burgers.

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